Rob-0h No! is a mini RPG, where players take on the role of robot trash sheriffs, trying to clean up the town and take out the robo mafia. Upgrade as you go and overcome your flaws.

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Welcome to MALWHERE – a town of corrupted hard drives and corrupt politicians. This place is a mess and there’s junk everywhere, but the real trash is other robots and you’re here to clean up. The Robo-mafia have their claws dug in deep and it’s time for a change.

You are tiny, flawed trash Sheriffs with a passion for solving crimes & taking names. You and your Robot companions are ready to access the town’s memories of when things were different and RAM justice down the throats of the bad guys.  You may not be perfect, you may have your flaws, you may be a little broken, but you’re all this town has got.

It’s time to get to work…

How To Play

First, pick a super cool Robot name and decide what you were originally made for, what ADAPTATIONS you have, and how you are FLAWED. Then, add something extra that makes you awesome. Roll 1d6 for each column below, or pick your own:

d6	ORIGINAL PURPOSE	ADAPTATIONS	FLAWS	AWESOME EXTRAS
1	HOUSEKEEPING	INTERACTIVE SCREEN/ EXTENDABLE ARMS/ EXTREME WHISK	CAN’T SWITCH OFF	COOL HAT
2	SURGERY	HIGH END PROCESSOR/ DELICATE BRUSHES/ LOW INTENSITY LASER	UNDERPOWERED	SICK WHEELS
3	SECURITY	SOLID GOLD RIMS/ SATELLITE DISH/ WATER CANNON	NO FILTER	TIGHT PAINTJOB
4	VIRTUAL ASSISTANT	CHESS SIMULATOR/ BLUETOOTH TRANSMITTER/ FLY SWATTER	FRAGILE	KILLER STEREO
5	MANUFACTURING	EXTERNAL HARD DRIVE/ HUMANIFORM HANDS/ FIREWORKS	UNRELIABLE	WICKED SHADES
6	CONSTRUCTION	CONTACTLESS PAYMENT DEVICE/ 4K CAMERA/ A MACHETE	AWKWARD	DOPE THREADS

Next, assign dice to your STATS. Each STAT has a pool of dice associated with it and a FLAW value, which denotes how that STAT is affected by your FLAW.

Assign d6, d8, d10 (1 per STAT) between your STATS. Each STAT has a starting FLAW value of 4:

PROTOCOL – Interacting socially with other Robots & Querying received data

DIAGNOSTICS – Interacting with objects & Running searches

ALERT – Acting under pressure & Kicking exhaust

Whenever you attempt something and the outcome is in doubt, establish which STAT best fits what you are trying to do and how your FLAW could cause things to go wrong.

Once this established, roll all the dice for your STAT and compare the total to its FLAW value. If your ADAPTATIONS would help out, or you can find a use your AWESOME EXTRA, roll twice and pick the highest result.

If you roll equal or above your FLAW, you overcome your FLAW and your action is successful.

If you roll below your FLAW, you fail and things go wrong as established. You also gain SCRAP.

If you roll less than half your FLAW (rounded down), your GM may give you an unexpected consequence of your actions.

Upgrades

Any time you roll below your FLAW, you gain SCRAP. SCRAP can be used to improve your STATS or to help out in situations.

When you have 3 SCRAP, you can use this to improve a STAT. Whenever you improve a STAT, you create a new ADAPTATION from the broken bits and pieces lying around.

Explain what you are making and how it improves your STAT, then roll 2d6. Compare the results to the table. Take the highest roll as your STAT improvement and your lowest as its FLAW value increase. Once SCRAP has been used, it is gone.

d6	STAT	FLAW
1-2	d6	3
3-4	d8	4
5-6	d10	5

Alternatively, you can use SCRAP you have to add to a roll. Take +1 per piece of scrap used. Once a piece of SCRAP has been used, it is gone. Explain what the piece of scrap is, how it helps your action and what renders it useless afterwards. You can do this before or after you roll.

Running a Game – For GMs

When Robots attempt something when the outcome is in doubt, ask them “What could go wrong?”. In some situations, there may be two possible outcomes that players come up with, based on their FLAW. If this is the case, then ask them to pick which one happens after the result of the roll is declared.

There’s always something shady going on in MALWHERE, and it certainly runs all the way to the top, but to find out who’s really involved, the Robots are going to have to do some digging. Roll on the table to find out what the Robo Mafia are up to and who else is involved. Roll 1d6 for each option:

d6	WHAT ARE THE ROBO MAFIA UP TO?	WHO ELSE IS INVOLVED?
1	Selling low quality circuit boards	The mayor of Malwhere
2	Running an antivirus racket	Someone the Robots trust most
3	Infecting people with Spyware	The Fibreoptic Bureau of Investigation
4	Low quality construction projects	An esoteric revolutionary group
5	Arms dealing, like Robot arms dealing	Another, more powerful Robo Mafia family
6	Smuggling Robot drugs, cut with scrap	Humans!

When a Robot rolls less than half of their FLAW (rounded down), you may wish to add an unexpected consequence to their actions.

Pick something appropriate to the narrative, or roll on the table:

d6	UNEXPECTED CONSEQUENCE
1	Something gets broken
2	Something gets lost
3	Someone gets hurt
4	Someone gets tipped off
5	Someone gets angry
6	Someone gets trapped